Namaste and warm greetings!!!
After a long time again i want to pen down my feelings with you... since the dreaded day in our family (June 9th 2015) I have been struggling between two extremes.....FAITH or FACT.....Similarly....MIND or HEART.......which one to believe in.....So let me tell you .....
In Andhra Pradesh, in the city of steel/city of destiny, Visakhapatnam my family has settled down years ago. My father Sri.D.S.Rao and my mother Smt.Bala were leading a very pious, generous, happy and successful life with two children until the dreaded day. One is myself Lalitha Bhaskari born after 10 long years of their pure love and strong worship towards Goddess LALITHA PARABHATTARIKA. After 8 years was born my cute little loving darling brother Sai Vidya Sagar as a result of pure worship to Goddess. Both our birthdays fall in the month of October, the month of DASARA. I have come into teaching field by the blessings of my parents and GURUS and as every parent wants I got married to Mr.Srinivas whom any girl can dream of as her husband. No words to praise him. My husband was/is an adorable, affectionate, loving,dutiful and above all a caring son -in-law, whom my father calls him as his Big Son. My in-laws are also very loving towards me and are a respectable couple. Any girl parent's dream would be that there daughter should be happy with her family before their eyes. I am blessed with two adorable daughters Thanmayee and Amulya.....thanks to my mother for instilling all good habits during their formative years. As my parents wished I have settled in Visakhapatnam, starting my career as Assistant professor in GITAM University and later moved on to Andhra University. They were very happy and leading their lives with utmost devotion and thankfulness towards their deities.
In the meanwhile my brother grew up to be a handsome, eligible bachelor who wanted to serve the Nation. So he chose Defense services as his career and tried his best to get a selection into one of the services , INDIAN COAST GUARD(ICG) and had to quit his M.B.A studies during his first year to pursue his passionate job. He has chosen a profession where none of our earlier family members have opted. All were very proud on his achievement and my parents also felt very happy as he has chosen a career where he can serve our Nation. Later on he met his love of his life Ms.Sushma, a relative of ours who was also passionate towards defense services agreed to walk along with my brother in his life journey. Next.... with all the joy, grandeur and amidst purohit's reciting the Vedic chants and elders my darling hero brother Sai tied the knot to my beautiful, gorgeous sister-in-law, Sushma. They were blessed with a baby boy Yashas, my cutie nephew. My brother got promoted from Lt.Col to Dy. Commdt in ICG and he was revered in his office as one of the Ace pilots of ICG. Life was very happy,going on well until one day my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. But with the will power of my mother and above all with the grace of GOD she faced the cancer demon with a smile and defeated it with grace. Amma, truly you are an inspiration to us and many such who are suffering with it.
Here I would like to tell that my mother is such a strong devotee that i always compare her with Meerabai. As Meerabai was very devotional towards Lord Krishna, my mother was equally devotional towards Goddess Lalitha Parabhattarika, fulfilling her duties towards her family. My father also was a strong, doting devotee of Shirdi Sai baba. My parents were contended with what they have and stood as an exemplary couple to all younger generation people. Everything was going on well.....but life has something in store for us.......
My brother was transferred to Chennai Coast Guard. He was one of those successful officers who not only gained appreciations from his colleagues but also from his superiors. Once landed in Chennai he filled our hearts with a good news........my sister-in-law Sushma was pregnant. All of us were very happy hoping to have a cute little sister to my darling nephew. But I don't know which evil has eyed our family.......suddenly on June 9th 2015 came a news that the Dornier flight for which my brother was the commanding pilot went missing from June 8th 2015 night at 9:10pm.....All of a sudden everything came to a stand still.... At the time I heard the news, my mother, myself and my daughters were on a trip to make a darshan of our family diety near Yemanchili, Visakhapatnam district. My mother with all her gut feeling started telling me and convinced that you and your brother are the fruits of my prayers towards Lalitha Devi and so no harm can ever happen. From then on our lives changed.....no news of the flight nor the 3 crew members.....
My brother Dy.Commdt D.Sai Vidya Sagar, the pilot, Dy.Commdt. Subhash Suresh, Co-pilot and Mr. Soni, The Navigator are the three crew members of the ill fated flight Dornier CG791. We have all reached Chennai expecting my brother will soon come to his home......seconds, hours,days passed with full of tension and anxiety. All the family members of the crew have even went on searching for our loved ones in and around Chennai coast based on some predictions of so called God man's. We started believing in all sorts of pujas, meeting sadhus, yogis with a hope that they will tell about my brother. During such moments my mother who was 65 years old and my father who was 75 years old then showed their harmony and their faith in GOD increased 10 fold. My mother started performing all sorts of pujas along with her three months pregnant daughter-in-law. No words can describe that worst situation in our lives......where my nephew waited for his playful dad's return from the office.....sushmas love and fear filled eyes watching through the main door and running up to the door if the bell rings to see whether her love has come back......the old parents waiting in despair for their sons arrival......my aunt and uncle(Sushmas parents) eagerly waiting for their son-in-laws arrival and to see a smile on their daughter's face......
Myself juggling between Vizag to Chennai with a hope to see my most loved dear brother......all my cousins, friends, relatives even people who don't know us offered their prayers for the safe arrival of all the three crew members.....all waited eagerly, anxiously for the good news.......NO......but we are not so fortunate......
After 33 days of strenuous,longest and largest search operation, never in the history of Indian Defense services, the ICG officials have informed that with the help of Olympic canyon they could trace the flight wreckage and some debris. All our thoughts and wishes that my brother will return started to fade. But still my father did not believe in all these updates received on daily basis from coast guard officials and convinced us that he is a Chiranjeevi(one who is immortal) and he is capable of handling any accident. He argued with the officials and told us that he might
have escaped and most probably drifted away to some place and since it was a very dreadful accident, he must have lost his memory. He was successful in convincing everyone but none of us could contradict him.....I know how hard it is for any father to tackle such a situation and I am proud of my parents witnessing the courage which they are showing.....actually daddy i know that you are posing as if you are strong for the sake of amma.......at the age of 75 years suddenly the news of his son missing is unbearable to any father.....But GOD only knows what happened?
FACT or FAITH?
FACT tells that the crew is no more as they have obtained a few human bones and got them DNA tested. Unfortunately the DNA tests came positive.........the day my whole family collapsed........Sushma crying and her 4 year old son, not knowing what is happening and innocently asking his mother when will daddy come? Hats off to my sister-in-law for showing such maturity and courage......one baby in her womb and one in her shoulders......no woman should face such a horrible situation. My mother crying for his son, my daughters crying for their dear mavayya, my husband trying to control his unstoppable tears and me cursing BABA, whom I believe in.....for the unbelievable,unwanted and the most horrifying news to any family.
FAITH tells us that our deities will not let go down our trust in them and they have saved him. Since then one year eight months have passed without hearing to my brothers voice and desparately waiting for his arrival.........expecting for a miracle to happen in our lives....
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| Me and My brother...in Mumbai......waiting for you Sai |
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| My brothers family during my nephews 3rd birthday.....my mother standing behind enjoying their company |
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| Me and my brother during our school days...... |
A lot of things happened from then on...as a ray of hope and happiness on Nov 27th 2015 my sister-in-law Sushma gave birth to an angel.....Sameera Ridhima Sagarika, fondly called as Tia by all of us. Days are passing by....life has to move on....my parents are leading their life lifelessly waiting for a miracle to happen.....the return of their son.....
Sushma along with the help of her parents is leading her life with only one goal and ambition in her life......to raise the two most precious gifts .......of her dear husband...their fruits of love....Yashas and Tia into happy,independent and successful citizens......our support is always with her.....
Myself in a situation entangled in the thoughts of FAITH or FACT.....witnessing the sorrow of my parents and my sister-in-law.....imagining why my nephew and niece have to live without the love of their father......why such a situation to our family?......Trying to think with my brain MIND but unable to accept the fact......so immediately switch to my HEART and console myself that whatever my father says will be correct and it will be true......
FACT......does not give any solace to any of us and instead we have to lead our rest of our lives with a feeling that what problems my brother would have faced at that horrible terrified moment. No peace.....No joy......Nothing in our lives since then......all are leading their lives mechanically...... My parents are not in a position to accept the FACT still......
FAITH....on the other hand they say that it can move mountains....with the same faith in GOD, we believe that some day my brother would come knocking our doors......
A last word.....I sincerely thank all of my family members, my cousins, friends, relatives every one who supported us and are still supporting us all through this phase.....
I know this might sound ridiculous.....as they say....anything might happen.....so if any one of you happened to see my brother anywhere....in any part of the world...in any situation.....please do inform me......
Thanks for your patient reading......
Lalitha Bhaskari
